Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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