This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
my being single is dangerous.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I have fence marks all over my body
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
