the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
