I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize
