3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i don't like sucking hair
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
