i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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