Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
