I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
