Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
