just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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