don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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