I wish I could teleport
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
