Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
