Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
