Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
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