Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
