Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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