Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
