worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
