I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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