Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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