my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
