We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
