Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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