he shaved USA in his pubs
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
