NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm both gender and math confused
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
