My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
