I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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