its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
