Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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