I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
