He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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