So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
