What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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