How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
