The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
