I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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