Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Randomize
