Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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