I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
