I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
