Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
