I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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