Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
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