Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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