How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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