so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
