so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
