can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
