you guys were way drunker than both of me
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
