No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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