You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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