Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Four minutes until I can fart!
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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